Enter your name, age and beard length to receive a 100% scientifically questionable but spiritually accurate beard prophecy.
Beard wisdom usually unlocks somewhere between coffee and taxes.
No prophecy yet.
Once you enter your details and hit
“Reveal my beard future”, this box will fill with:
Beard Fortune Teller is a playful beard oracle at RateMyBeard.se. You enter your name, age and beard length – or even “I have no beard (yet)” – and receive a unique, funny beard prophecy written just for you.
Each reading includes a beard title, a short near-future story, a gentle warning, a fun opportunity and a suggested beard ritual. You also get beard stats like beard alignment, vibe score, chaos level and a lucky beard item for the day.
The site is made to be light-hearted, shareable and a little bit magical – perfect to send to friends, drop in chats or post on social media as a beard-themed meme. No login, no account, just pure beard magic in your browser.
Is Beard Fortune Teller free?
Yes – completely free and just for fun. You can generate as many beard prophecies as you
like and share them with friends.
Do I need a beard to use it?
No. There is even a special “I have no beard (yet)” option with its own beardless destinies,
gentle teasing and future-beard energy.
Does my prophecy change every time?
Your prophecy is based on your name, age and beard stage. If you enter the same details,
you’ll get the same result – change something, and the beard gods may speak differently.
Do I need to log in or share personal data?
No accounts, no email, no tracking of your beard secrets – it all lives in your browser
and is meant purely for entertainment.