Meta Description: Ever wake up hungry? Your beard may be eating your midnight snacks! Find out more in this hilarious exposé.

The Shocking Truth About Hungry Beards

Scientists (who totally exist) have discovered that beards develop a mind of their own after a certain length. If you’ve ever woken up feeling like you didn’t eat enough, it’s not you—it’s your beard, secretly munching on your midnight snacks. Some beards have even been caught ordering pizza at 3 AM. If your delivery driver seems confused, check your phone history!

📌 Disclaimer: This is a humor article. Your beard does not actually have a stomach (we hope).